I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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