I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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