what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
