I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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