You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
