she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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