Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize