if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize