I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
