So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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