what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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