Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
