God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
