do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
there is glitter all over my balls
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize