Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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