Where did you get a picture of my penis
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
