I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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