Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
