omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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