Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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