What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
