They should really pass out barf bags in church
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
