i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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