I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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