I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
