after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
