it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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