I got chris browned last night
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
