Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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