It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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