For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
