Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize