i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
