Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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