I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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