i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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