Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
