Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
