I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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