using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
