There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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