i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize