they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
