some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
