Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He felt like a one man threesome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
