May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
