the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
