I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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