I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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