I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
