This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
