He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
