They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize