Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Boobs are out for the taking
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
