its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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